It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Green mimosas i think yes
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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