i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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