one word: firstdatebathroomanal
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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