i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
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