I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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