I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
