Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
