Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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