problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
