How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
