I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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