i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
