Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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