you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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