Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
