Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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