I'm eating all of the evidence.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
