found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
