he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
