btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
