he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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