Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We need to get me chipped asap
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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