she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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