My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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