So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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