come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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