The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
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im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
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Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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