I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
