i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
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