ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
