you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
