Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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