Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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