well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
