he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize