spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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