Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize