you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
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just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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