I am spending my child support on dildos
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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