Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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