I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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