i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
