Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
