Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize