and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
