if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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