i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
