I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
