We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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