New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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