Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
