PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize