4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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