Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
