I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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