If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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