Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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