we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
