I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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