What did we do last night that was yellow?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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