Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
