he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
